They just won't let me go. It's just getting ridiculous. Didn't I tell you they wouldn't?
Last I left you, I'd got a PAC code to migrate my number from Orange. Today, 26 days from the day I gave Orange notice, I rung up Virgin to migrate the number.
I got a very earnest person trying his hardest to do the customer service thing. This appears to consist of saying 'Excellent!' a lot and going into infinite detail about every step that's involved, even when I'd already reassured him I'd done something. I don't have problems with that, really: they have scripts to go through. So I let it coast over me.
First obstacle, before I can migrate my number, I have to pay by direct debit. Before I can pay by direct debit, I have to have set up my voicemail. I've already set up my voicemail, but clearly not on the new number once it's migrated to Virgin. But that's all right because it's Virgin and we're chummy at Virgin. So I set up the direct debit.
Next step, they need my PAC number. I gave it to him. When did I get it? 14th June. Oh, you won't be able to use it then. You're best off going back to Orange and getting a new PAC code. Why? The letter says I'm okay to use it within 30 days. Ah, but migration takes seven days. By the time the PAC number needs to be used, it will have expired. Could they not have put that in the letter? No one's ever thought of that. Could you try the PAC code anyway? It won't work. We could try but I don't want you to be disappointed. I want the migration to go as smoothly as possible.
It's a little late for that.
Advice point 1: Use your PAC code within 20 days of getting since the letter is a lie
So I ring up Orange to get a new code (remembering my contract probably expires on Friday).
Well, I try. "...please call our Mobile Number Portability team on 0800 376 2885". I do. The number's unobtainable. So I ring the main Orange number, type in my mobile number, descend through the seven layers of the "Press 1 to be connected to Satan" voicemail system, get asked for my mobile number again before finally being allowed to ask for a new code.
Okay, we'll send that out to you and it should arrive within three to four working days. Can you not give it to me now? No, it has to be done by letter.
Okay. How come you don't put on your letter that it needs to be used within 23 days, incidentally? Well you need a new PAC code because you let the old one expire. I didn't. I used it within 30 days. It's the networks that need an extra seven days. You let the PAC code expire, so you need a new one. No...
Eventually, she understands what I'm getting at.
Could you perhaps put 20 days or even 23 days on the letter?
It's not up to me. It's Orange who decide.
Well, could you suggest it?
I've had lots of customer suggestions and this is the first time I've had this request so they probably won't listen to me.
Could you suggest it anyway?
Ah. Orange customer service. And they wonder why I'm leaving.
I'll keep you posted.