Who's the tramp? Me.

I've descended to hobo levels of existence. It's ridiculous. I'm absent-minded at the best of times, but my Monday activities were just silly.

In a fit of efficiency, I went out to recycle the household waste, get a couple of pairs of trousers dry-cleaned and post a letter. Given that I had two bags for everything, what do you think happened?

Yes, you guessed right. I put the trousers and the post in the recycling bag and then accidentally recycled them. Fortunately, the recycling bins were close to the house so I was able to run back, fetch a broom and use that to hook out my trousers and post.

But I am now, officially, the kind of guy who wears trousers that have been fished out of wastebins. Oh dear.